Tag Archives: Thoughts..

الحجِّه وأنا

بعد انهاء كافة الاجراءت صعد الى الباص المتوقف في الخارج للانتقال للطرف الاخر من ضفة النهر. كان الباص فارغا،  فقرر الجلوس في الصف الثاني. اخرج قلمه واخذ بتعبأة البطاقة وبعد الانتهاء من ذلك اخذ يفكر عن الاسباب التي دعت السلطات لاتخاذ هذا الاجراء مع العلم ان هنالك اناس لا يمكنهم الكتابة والقراءة وما الهدف منه!. ومع غمرة الافكار قطع حبل افكاره صوت حجّة!

الحجِّة: في حد كاعد هون يا خالتي؟

أنا: لا، تفضلي..

الحجة: الله يزيد فظلك ياخالتي، من وين جبت هذا الكرت؟

أنا: من سواق الباص.

الحجة: عادت ومعها الكرت، خالتي ولو بدي اغلبك تعبي لي الكرت، لا بعرف اقرا ولا اكتب!

أنا: اكيد طبعا، اخذ بكتابه المعلومات على البطاقة، وبدأت مرحله التحقيق!

الحجة: طالع زيارة على عمان يا خالتي؟

أنا: مرور يا خالتي.

الحجة: الله يسر امرك، كاين تعيد عند اهلك؟

أنا: اه. (استخدم اسلوب “كلمة ورد غطاها” لتجنب مزيد من الاسئلة)

الحجة: من وين انت يا خالتي؟

أنا: نابلس!

الحجة: من دار مين من نابلس. انا من بيت فوريك. امبارح ارجعت من الاردن واليوم نازله!

انا: باستخدام اسلوب “الهجوم خير وسيلة للدفاع” له خير ان شاء الله.

الحجة: الله لا يوفكهم ظيعولي شنطتي امبارح، ورجعت ع الاردن وهيني رايحه اجيبها.. شو بدنا نعمل يا خالتي. شعبنا متعتس الله يتعتسهم.

أنا: بيعن الله..

الحجة: كم يوم كاعد في الاردن.

انا: كم يوم بس.

الحجة: الله يسر امرك ياخالتي.. هي ما بنكعد فيها اكتر من هيك.. الله يعين اهلها. روحهم بتطلع.. ما في احلى من بلادنا!

أنا: التزمت الصمت، لعل وعسى ان ينتهي التحقيق.

الحجة: وين نازل ياخالتي؟

أنا: عمان.

الحجة: انا رايحة على مادبا، بدور ع حد يشاركني بسيارة. بالك بلاكي حد؟

أنا: اكيد.

الحجة: وين مسافر ياخالتي؟

انا: هولندا.

الحجة: ربنا يوفكك ويرزكك. والله النا كرايب عايشين في هولندا. شو وظعهم ما شاء الله. ان شاء الله بتصير زيهم. عندهم ما شاء الله في البلد بيت وبانين. الله يفتح على كل هالشباب.

انا: أمين. اخذت زجاجة الماء (نشف ريقي) وسالت الحجة، تشربي يا خالتي؟

الحجة: الله يسعدك يا خالتي، معي ماي مسكعه. فيها ثلج كمان. هيهم بالكيس معي. ما انا جايب معي لحمة حبش!! قال ما في الاردن لحمة حبش.. (قالتها مع ضحكة).

أنا: لا تعليق، مجرد جملة تدور في راسي واحدة، لحمة حبش وشعب متعتس!!

الحجة: انت متزوج يا خالتي؟

أنا: لا ياخالتي، (وانا مستغرب لماذا اخذت كل هذا الوقت لتسالني هذا السؤال، بالعادة يكون من في اول التحقيق).

الحجة: يالله بدري ياخالتي عمهل، بدك تكِّون حالك وربنا يرزكك في بنت الحلال.  بتكلف الزيجه.. الله يعين الشباب.

أنا: ان شاء الله.

فجأة تلفون الحجة يرن، واخذت تتحدث مع الطرف الاخر، وانا احمد الله ان التحقيق انتهى وفي راسي جملة واحدة، لحمة حبش والشعب متعتس!!

ملاحظة: معدل درجة الحرارة في الاغوار في مثل هذا الوقت من السنه تقريبا ٣٥.

Mind + Soul + Body

After winter, people starts to clean their houses, get rid of the cloths or stuff that they don’t need anymore. Windows are open to let the new fresh spring breeze to enter the house and replace the cold humid one. Fasting is my “Spring cleaning” of my body, mind and soul. Every year, I feel how my soul is elevated, how’s my body is taking a rest during the day and start focusing in cleaning itself. My mind become more clear, my energy level increase specially my mental power. This is year I wanted to add another layer on top of that, I wanted to try yoga while I am fasting. I doubted myself how far I can go, I was expecting myself after the fist class to stop and take break until I finish the month because I will not be able to do it. However, I had completely different experience! It added to my peace of mind, it helps me to recognized my body more and pushed its boundaries. After every class, I came back home, I don’t feel like doing anything, just breaking my fast, and enjoy the peaceful moment inside my head and my body. Yoga gave my fasting a boost, it is like the finial touches to my body and my mind. Now the equation is completed and both side of it is on balance: Mind + Soul + Body = Me!

To Let go…

Everyday we resisting and fighting, our muscles are tense all the time to pull ourselves away. We are not giving up or surrender to it. The only time that we giving up to it while we are sleeping because we are not in control anymore.

Gravity keeps pulling us down but we resist that all the time. With my new yoga experience, when my teacher says “Surrender to gravity”‘; it was difficult at the beginning to do so. My mind trick me, for a moment it give me the feeling that all my muscles surrendered but I found my face muscles are not yet. My mind is not easily giving up, even if it plays trick on his owner. I had to force my mind to let go, to surrender, and experience the feelings of having my muscles melted down from my bones. The feeling for losing the awareness of your body parts. The feeling that your soul or mind is not limited to this physical body but it is part of bigger things that surround us and we don’t pay attention to. I feel that I am sleep however I am still awake!

When my awareness start to surface again, and I started to feel my body parts again, I feel that all the noises and voices inside my head are quite. It is like a city in the middle of the night while everyone is sleeping and its streets are empty. As if all these noises went down or discharged into earth and left my body!

Surrender to gravity makes me feels as if my body became part of the earth and the only living part of me is my mind!

Being Different

Everyone in the world agrees that we are different, brothers raised in the same family and under the same roof are different, twin that grow up on the same time in the same womb are different. Two tress are different even if they are coming from the same fruit’s seeds.

With my new yoga experience I learned that there are even differences in the same body! For example, my left leg is different than the right one, my right shoulder is different than the left one! How much I can do with my right arm is different than the left one! But with all these differences they shape one body that live in peace, they work together in harmony to help doing everything I ask. I never saw my left foot refuse to work with my right one because it has different size or less flexibility. I never felt that my right eyes asking my left one to leave my body because is less stronger. On the opposite, if my left eye is less stronger, my right one will do more effort to cover this gap. When my left leg get tired my body lean to my stronger right leg to give more support. They work as a whole to make me what I am now.

I wonder why people in our society don’t look into themselves and learn from their bodies that being different is not something bad. It is part of the beauty of our life and with our differences we fill the gaps between each others. We can live in peace and harmony, we can support each other in one society even if we are different exactly like my left leg support the different right leg in the same body!

Yoga – A new experience

When I started  Yoga exercises five years ago, I wanted to bring balance to my life because I know that yoga is all about balance. Gym and weight lifting is not something for me. I feel that I have more connection with yoga. Since I start practicing I understood my body more and I started to listen to it more.

Now, I am having different experience guided by a teacher.  I started to see Yoga in different dimension I didn’t see it before. Yoga is about balance but also about to do what your body allow you do in the moment and slowly let it expand naturally and with a flow. It feels natural because it connects your with your body rhythm through your breath. It sync your movement with your natural body rhythm to bring you to a next level of harmony.

I will keep exploring more about my new Yoga experience and I am looking forward to see where this time it is going to take me.

We see what we want to see!

I am a visual person, I like to visualize everything I am thinking of or I want to do. For that reason, I have a strong visual memory. Everyday when I leave my house I remember everything exactly where it was with every details. So if anything happened during my absence and alter that I would know immediately. Few days ago, I return from work as usual and the first thing I would do after removing my shoes and jacket is to raise the temperature of my central heater. I went there to put it up, but I was surprised to see it  already set to 21 which the usual temperature that I am used too. The first thing crossed my mind was “maybe I forgot to lower it in the morning before leaving to work, so no need to panic. And why would a thief put the temperature up?!”. I felt more relaxed with that idea and I went to kitchen to prepare my dinner. The first thing that I noticed was the towel that I used to clean the sink is still wet! That raised a question again inside my head but I said to myself “You know that it is cold and things take time to dry, and again why would a thief clean the kitchen?!”. Then I noticed another thing odd, the hand of my water sink was set to the maximum, and usually I don’t put it like this or never. Also, once I opened it; directly a hot water came out. At this moment I stopped and said to myself ” definitely there was someone in the apartment and he left before my arrival with few minutes, how come then the water came that hot directly!” For a moment I wanted to panic but deep inside me the person that was here  didn’t mean any harm! Then I remembered, and I started to laugh. My landlord called me in the morning and asked me if he can come to the apartment and check the central heating for annual maintenance while I am at work :)! Now everything make sense to me.

When I think about what happened again, I see how sometimes we see things happening on front of us, screaming on our face saying there is something wrong happening here, but we intentionally ignore them because we don’t want to believe that thing is happening and we only want to see what we want to see!

شو تعلمت من الركض؟

كمان تقريبا عشر ايام بصير لي عايش بهولندا خمس سنين، هالخمس سنين ضافوا كتير شغلات الي وفتحوا عيوني على ثقافات وعادات كتيرة منها المنيح ومنها المش منيح (طبعا برأي). أول ما وصلت على هولندا لفت نظري شغلات كتيرة منها  قديش الناس بتطلع تركض في النهار او في الليل كبار او صغار في السن ما في عمر معين.  وكنت مرات اوقف على الشباك والدنيا تكون مطر واشوف واحد او واحدة بركض تحت المطر، احكي لنفسي شو صاير بالدنيا عشان اطلع اركض تحت المطر؟ يعني لو وقفت يوم شو راح يصير؟ ما راح أموت؟ حطيت محكمة وحاكمت هاي الناس.

من شهرين قررت اطلع اركض والتزمت اني كل اسبوع اركض 3 مرات لنص ساعة. طبعا شعور حلو كتير خصوصا بعد تعب يوم أو تبدأ فيه يومك. إمبارح كانت الدنيا مطر والثلاثاء احد الايام اللي بطلع أركض فيها، روحت على البيت لبست اواعي الركض وطلعت أركض تحت المطر. وأنا بركض اتزكرت حالي وأنا بحكي عن الناس اللي بتركض تحت المطر “مجانين” هلا انا صرت مجنون زيهم. فهمت ليش بركضوا بغض النظر كيف كان الجو. والشعور وانت بتركض تحت المطر أجمل بكتير من غير مطر.

عرفت انه مرات بنعمل محاكمة لغيرنا وبنحاكمهم على شي بيعملوا احنا مش متعودين نعمله وبس نكون في مكانهم وبنفس الظروف احتمال نعمل نفس الشي. اتعلمت انه مش لازم أحاكم حد بغض النظر بشو مختلفين وعشان اقدر افهمه لازم اكون في مكانه واحط حالي بنفس الظروف اللي هو فيها قبل ما اصدر عليه حكمي.

Firefox & Me – Episode 1: Before I met you…

It was end of 90s when the whole Internet was orbiting around Internet Explorer, people started to forget what is Internet. There were not too many choices left. Internet is becoming Internet Explorer. My first love is now in the ICU for a long time, many tried to revive it but all the vital signs are showing that the end is getting soon and saving it is beyond anyone. I have to deal with the fact that Netscape is dying and it is taking its last breathe. I am still refusing to go out with Internet Explorer, simply because I don’t want to see the virtual world only from its own eyes. I want to shape my own world and control it by myself. I started to look for alternatives, I went out with opera couple of times, it was pretty, flexible has lots of characteristics that attracted me. But it was too complicated to deal with, many things that always made me confused. After struggling few times, we decided to break up. I tried to go out with other browsers but most of them they had the same personality of Internet explorer but they were having different dress and make up. I was looking for the one that will win my heart and the one that I should give my support. The one that I will be proud of when others see us together.
To be continue …